Choke
I am on the internet, viewing a web page. I see a link to an MPEG saying 'Watch this woman choking inbetween her words!'. I click on it, and watch a woman sitting on the floor. I don't know what she is saying, but between each word she gags as if she is about to be sick. Suddenly, I am transported to the scene. It is a room with white walls, and on a sofa 2 more women are looking at her, laughing. They turn to me, and I skip and dance out of the room. The room is at the bottom of St. James' Lane. I dance for about half a mile, then walk some of the way back. It is about 8:30 in the morning. On the corner of the road I see my mum, and we talk. I tell her I am going away for a while, and she seems disinterested. Then the sky turns black, and a huge aircraft with a spotlight flies overhead. We both know this is the start of the blitz. Then I wake up.

Goo
I am in the corner of a school hall, full of children. Germaine Greer stands in the doorway. I pick at the wall with my fingernail. The wall is covered in Gloy glue, like you used to use in primary school. The more I pick at it, the more it comes off. The glue covers the entire hall, including everyone in it. I manage to pick the glue off the entire hall, in one 'sheet'. Then I wake up.

Buddah goes to a hot dog seller. Seller asks him what he wants. Buddah says 'I'd like one with everything'.

Woman walks into a bar. Barman asks her what she wants. She asks for a double entendre. Barman gives her one.

Woke up this morning Tony Soprano is my dad. He has decided to adopt 4 extra children. He and his wife Carmela decide to get a divorce. He convinces Furio to give him a lift in his light blue VW Beetle by saying he will sell one of the many diamonds he has. He bundles us all into the car. Carmela sees us, and sargues with him. She teels Furio he only has one diamond left. Tony looks sheepish. We all drive of. Now I am walking down the street with Tony. We talk about the strip club. I say I am going to visit AJ at his friends house. When I arrive I see him at the top of a huge wet grassy hill. He is about to slide down it. David Bowie in full Ziggy Stardust costume is also here. He jumps seconds before me and AJ. As we are sliding down, I see Ziggy ahead of me. I am increasing in speed, until I hit a huge bump and am lifted high into the air. When I land I am watching a black and white documentary on Bowie's career, starting with his work in silent movies. He is very good looking, and his head is cube shaped and can rotate. Then I wake up.

Tamsin Greig again
OK, I've received an email telling me that the reason for all the Tamsin Greig site hits is because I'm in the Top 10 searches for her name on Google. Which is fine, but the acompanying text (the fancy bit) is sooooo wanky, it sounds like the scene in "I'm Alan Partridge" where he finds the shrine dedicated to himself. I just had to delete it (on here, it's still cached unfortunatley). She's still a great looking great actress though :o)

I am in the army. I am with my friends in my bedroom, and we are protecting someone from Al-Queida (sp?). It is nighttime. There is a women who sits naked on the wall outside my window, but is able to make herself disappear. She says she likes being naked because 'It's what she wants to do, it's her life'. We peek through the curtains at her, and giggle. We see a man in red trousers near the grass. We train our rifles on him, we know he is the bad guy. Suddenly from his head emerges helicopter blades made of fireworks. He rises from the ground and we duck down waiting for him to explode. After a while he still hasn't so we peer over the windoe ledge. He is gone. Then I wake up.

Analyse This
I am in a packed cinema on the back row, in the middle. I'm watching an 'Embarresing Celebrities' film. The person next to me wants to go to the toilet but the cinema is badly designed and I tell him it would be too much hassle to get up. He keeps nagging me, so finally I move. Upon seeing this, the entire crowd gets up to go to the toilet, including me. On the stairs waiting for the toilet, I decide to go back to watch the film. Fighting back through the crowds I am in the cinema almost alone. We watch a film of Culture Club repeatedly messing up the start of a song. Every time Boy George sings a word, he says 'No, start again'. Eventually Jon Moss is throwing his drums at him. Suddenly, I find myself under the covers of a bed. Peering over the covers I find I am a double bed with red silk sheets, in the middle of a plush ground floor office. I can see Broad Street in Birmingham through the office doors. I get my phone out, and try to book tickets to see the film I've just seen. A women at the other end of the office takes my call. After I've booked the tickets, I am confused and ask people what I'm doing here. They seem interested, and say they see a lot of people like me. I get out of bed and leave for Broad Street. However this street is long and steep, and on the left side there are huge red council estates. I walk towards them, and find that when I jump, I can glide down. At the end of the road are some small shabby shops, like Shambles in Coventry. I feel as if I know everyone there. I realize I am in Sheffield. The owner of the final shop takes me inside for a drink. We talk, and I tell him how hard I am finding it trying to get a job in London. I say I am thinking of moving to Sheffield, but a lot of my stuff is still at Mark and Lards' house. Another man comes in, and we talk of how suspicous it is that Mark's daughter got 85% in her Photoshop exams at school. We think she knows the Ctrl-0 cheat. The other person then asks my friend if he has any 'special stuff' coming in. I assume he means dope. Then I find myself transported to a studio set, where a montage of people I used to know talk of how much they enjoyed getting their degrees. The final part of the montage is a naked women sitting on a man, facing him with her legs spread. The show cuts back to the studio, where Ulrika Jonssen is presenting the show, with Sir Steve Redgrave and Bradley from SClub7. They are all naked, with Sir Steve on his back, Ulrika straddling him, and Bradley behind her. Ulrika makes some joke with the word 'cock' in it, and the audience laugh at it. She trys to start fucking Sir Steve, but Bradley pulls his dick out and starts sucking it. I think to myself 'This is pretty weird for 9 o'clock on a Sunday night'. Then I wake up.

Tamsin Greig
Could someone tell me why I am getting a ton of hits concerning her? They're coming from all over the world, what's going on? Has she appeared in something lately?